Conflict and fruitless arguments drain our energy and harm our relationships. When we are caught in a high-conflict situation or constantly have to deal with unresolved disputes, it is paramount to develop our critical thinking and problem solving abilities.
One good place to start is to learn to identify common logical fallacies – when someone breaches logic and make their own argument invalid or fruitless. Sometimes, the best response is to rebuke or else just walk away. In this post, I’ll discuss three common fallacies so please leave comments as I’d love to know whether you have experienced this in your own life and perhaps have come up with some brilliant responses?
1. Red Herring – when someone tries to divert attention away from the real issue, by bringing up another issue that has very little relevance to the first issue.
Example:
You: “I am really disappointed that you told your friend my intimate details that I entrusted you with.”
Other Person: “I trust them, they won’t tell a soul.”
2. Strawman – when someone takes the point you’re making (or your argument), exaggerates / distorts it in an extreme way and then attacks that extreme distortion as if that is what you said / claimed.
Example:
You: “I think we should draw up a monthly budget and stick to it.”
Other Person: “Don’t you care about my needs?”
3. Tu Quoque (Latin for “you too”) – when someone dismisses your viewpoint on an issue because you are inconsistent yourself on that very issue.
Example:
You: “I would like to spend more quality time with you.”
Other Person: “You are one to talk. You are hardly ever home.”
Bear in mind that we all tend to do this ourselves at times, so it’s important to identify when it happens to us but also to acknowledge when we are doing the same thing. Once you are aware of these fallacies, you’ll be surprised how often you notice them. Please share with us your own experiences in this regard.
Also Read Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs