In my years of dealing with family relations as a mentor, I’ve compiled a list of qualities and values that are crucial for family well-being. This is a work in progress so you can expect updates.
Respect: Members of successful families have respectful relationships and are civil toward each other at all times. They don’t ignore, hurt on purpose or withdraw when having difficulties.
Compassion: They are compassionate toward the other family members and display affectionate behaviour. Their various developmental stages and needs are understood and honoured.
Fairness: Members of happy families treat each other fairly and favouritism is not tolerated. They are aware of not over-compensating or over-indulging unhealthy behavioural patterns.
Quality Time: Spending quality time alone with each family member is vitally important while doing things together as a family is also a priority. Alone time is also regarded a necessity for all members, children and parents included.
Communication: Open and clear communication is always encouraged in successful families. Emotions are not bottled up, but rather encouraged to be voiced, expressed and properly heard as well.
Rules: Clear boundaries are set for every family member and family rules which have been agreed to by everyone, apply. A healthy balance is struck between being a disciplinarian and a supportive parent to children.
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Involvement: All the parents are involved in the children’s lives in happy families. A strong co-parenting partnership is established between parents in support of the children. Siblings are also equally involved and supportive of each other and their parents.
Supportive: Every member is encouraged and supported to serve their highest values and pursue their dreams, for the greater good of everyone.
Non-Judgemental: Conflict among family members is handled effectively and members cultivate a non-judgemental attitude. There are few opportunities for misunderstanding and the level of trust is high.
Rituals: Family rituals and routines form in an integral part of family life, providing ample opportunities for bonding interaction. Special occasions are meaningful and unite them.
Security: Healthy families provide a reliable and secure environment, based on a solid relationship between the parents, which is more challenging to nurture when a secondary partnership / marriage.
Connection: Members of bonded families are loved, valued, appreciated, encouraged and emotionally connected.
Realistic: Such families have realistic expectations of their respective lives intertwining and always leave room for growth. As the years go by, members grow closer and choose to spend more time together.
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