The Misconception of Gender Based Violence: A Call for Inclusivity and Balance
The term Gender Based Violence (GBV) has become synonymous with discussions around violence, particularly domestic violence. However, the concept often focuses primarily on the plight of women, overshadowing the equally critical experiences of male victims and the nuanced dynamics of violence. The term is problematic and I wish the “Gender Based” will be dropped to use only the word Violence. By shifting the narrative, we can address violence holistically and create a healthier, more balanced society.
The Origin, History and Intention of Gender-Based Violence
The term GBV originated from feminist movements in the 1970s and 1980s, highlighting violence experienced by women due to perceived systemic gender inequalities. Its purpose was to shed light on issues like domestic abuse, sexual harassment and intimate partner violence, which affected women at the time.
While the intent was noble, the terminology is now becoming increasingly outdated and one-sided. It focuses predominantly on women as victims and men as perpetrators, ignoring the experiences of male victims whose realities do not fit neatly into this framework. Such exclusion undermines efforts to address violence as a human issue rather than a gendered one.
Why “Violence” Is a Better Term
- Inclusivity:
The term “Violence” is inclusive, addressing the experiences of all individuals – regardless of gender or sexual orientation. It does not assume causality based solely on gender but recognises other factors such as societal pressures, psychological conditions, cultural influences etc. - Statistical Evidence:
Studies indicate that domestic violence rates are disproportionately high in lesbian relationships, challenging the notion that men are the primary aggressors. For example:- Research by the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP) shows that domestic violence is more common in same-sex female relationships than in opposite-sex ones.
- In heterosexual contexts, men often face underreported violence due to stigma and societal expectations.
- The Problem with Toxic Masculinity Narratives:
Feminist ideologies that frame men as inherently toxic or dangerous, perpetuate harmful stereotypes, marginalising male victims and normalising female aggression. This narrative erodes the foundation of healthy families and communities, teaching children an imbalanced and divisive worldview. - Raising Balanced Children:
Teaching children that violence is gender-driven fosters division and resentment. A balanced approach emphasises accountability and mutual respect, preparing children to build healthier relationships and communities.
Real-Life Stories: The Reality of Violence
Case 1: Jacob’s Story
Jacob, a father of two, came to me after enduring years of emotional and physical abuse from his wife. His mental health suffered severely due to societal stigma, which painted him as weak for speaking out. By focusing on resilience and self-worth, Jacob regained confidence, ultimately leaving the abusive environment.
Case 2: Maria’s Experience
Maria, a successful businesswoman, was physically assaulted by her female partner. She struggled with feelings of betrayal and shame, compounded by a lack of support networks. Therapy and resilience-building helped Maria reclaim her life and rebuild trust.
Case 3: Liam’s Journey
Liam, a young man, was assaulted by a male colleague. His ordeal highlighted workplace violence, where gender played no role. Through strategic coaching, Liam developed assertiveness and sought legal redress.
Case 4: Sarah’s Battle
Sarah, a mother of three, faced emotional and physical abuse from her male partner. Despite societal narratives supporting female victims, Sarah needed guidance to overcome self-doubt and establish boundaries. Practical resilience tools enabled her to leave the toxic relationship and start anew.
The Root Causes of Violence: Moving Beyond Gender
Violence is a complex phenomenon influenced by various factors that transcend gender. Recognising these factors helps create a more comprehensive approach to addressing and reducing violence. These include:
- Psychological Issues: Unaddressed mental health challenges, such as depression, anxiety or unresolved trauma, can lead to aggressive behaviour.
- Socio-Economic Pressures: Poverty, unemployment and financial stress can create feelings of helplessness and frustration, often resulting in violence.
- Cultural Norms: In some societies, aggression is normalised as an acceptable way to resolve disputes or assert dominance.
- Substance Abuse: Drugs and alcohol impair judgment, reduce self-control and increase the likelihood of violent behaviour.
- Intergenerational Trauma: Patterns of violence can be passed down through generations, where individuals exposed to violence in childhood may replicate those behaviours in adulthood.
- Lack of Education: Limited access to education can contribute to poor conflict-resolution skills and exacerbate the cycle of violence.
- Inequality and Social Injustice: Marginalisation, discrimination and lack of access to resources can lead to frustration and acts of violence against perceived oppressors or within communities.
- Poor Parenting Practices: Harsh discipline, neglect or exposure to violence within the home can lead to aggressive behaviours in children and adolescents.
- Media Influence: Exposure to violent content in media, including video games, movies and social media, can desensitise individuals to violence or encourage imitation.
- Community Breakdown: Weak social networks, lack of community engagement and poor law enforcement can create environments where violence thrives.
Reducing violence requires addressing these interconnected factors holistically rather than simplifying the issue to gender dynamics. This approach ensures that interventions are effective, inclusive and capable of creating lasting change.
12 Practical Tips for Victims of Violence
- Acknowledge the Problem: Admit that violence is occurring and that it is unacceptable.
- Seek Immediate Safety: Prioritise your safety by finding a secure place or contacting emergency services.
- Build a Support System: Reach out to trusted friends, family or support groups.
- Document Incidents: Keep records of abusive events, including dates, times and any evidence.
- Access Professional Help: Consult therapists or counsellors who specialise in trauma and resilience.
- Contact Authorities: Report violent incidents to local law enforcement.
- Know Your Rights: Educate yourself about legal protections and resources in your area.
- Establish Boundaries: Clearly communicate what behaviour is unacceptable and enforce consequences.
- Focus on Self-Care: Engage in activities that promote physical and mental well-being.
- Develop a Safety Plan: Outline steps to take if violence escalates, including escape routes and emergency contacts.
- Empower Yourself: Practice assertiveness and confidence in your interactions.
- Join Support Groups: Connect with others who have faced similar challenges for shared experiences and healing.
Conclusion
The term Gender-Based Violence does a disservice to victims by framing violence through a gendered lens rather than addressing its root causes. By embracing a more inclusive term like Violence, we can shift the focus to healing, prevention and accountability for all individuals, regardless of gender. A balanced approach benefits families, communities and society at large, fostering understanding and resilience in the face of adversity.
Let us commit to addressing violence in all its forms, ensuring no one is left unseen or unsupported.